Hustle Culture

Let Go of the Cape! Why You Don’t Have to Be Superwoman to Be Successful

May 12, 2025

How to Stop Being Superwoman and Let Go of the Cape

If you’re the go-to person at work, the fixer in your family, the one who makes it all look easy, this is for you.

Maybe you’ve mastered the art of multitasking and still manage to look put-together in the morning Zoom call. Maybe you’ve climbed the ladder, broken barriers, and still feel like you’re carrying a weight no one sees. Here’s the truth: You don’t have to be Superwoman to be successful.

And you never did.

As a coach for Black executive women, I’ve sat across from powerful, smart women, CEOs, VPs, directors, and founders. They were all exhausted. 

Black Superwoman;
Let Go of the Cape. Why You Don’t Have to Be Superwoman to Be Successful; find Black executive coach; best Black executive coach near; rest; hustle culture;
Image generated by Author using Sintra

Not because they’re weak, but because they’ve been conditioned to be everything for everyone

But somewhere along the way, they forgot to be something for themselves.

It’s time to unlearn that. Let’s talk about what it really means to succeed. And to do it without the cape.


The Superwoman Complex. Where It Starts

We didn’t put the cape on by accident. We inherited it.

From childhood, many of us watched the women around us work tirelessly and silently, making sacrifices as if it was just part of being a Black woman. Strength was survival. We learned that rest was laziness. Asking for help? A sign of weakness. And success? That had to be earned with double the effort and none of the complaints.

In the workplace, especially in predominantly white spaces, the pressure to prove ourselves is magnified. It’s not just about competence, it’s about perfection. We’re often the only in the room. The only Black woman. The only person who gets it. So we armor up.

I remember one of my clients telling me, “If I’m not on 24/7, I feel like I’ll drop every ball, and people will notice.” She was leading a global team, mentoring junior staff, managing her home, and barely sleeping. The cape was weighing her down, but she couldn’t imagine taking it off.

Does this ring a bell with you?


You Don’t Have to Be Superwoman to Be Strong

Real Strength Looks Different Than What We Were Taught

Somewhere along the way, we confused strength with self-neglect. But hear me when I say this:
Strength is not about how much you can carry. It’s about knowing what’s yours to carry at all.

Strength is:

  • Saying “no” when your plate is full.
  • Taking PTO and unplugging.
  • Asking for support, at home, at work, in your friendships.
  • Admitting, “I’m not okay right now.”

Letting go of the Superwoman identity doesn’t mean giving up your ambition or your excellence. It means rewriting what your version of success looks like. And making sure your mental and emotional well-being is part of the picture.


The Cost of the Cape: Burnout, Isolation, and Quiet Desperation

When you wear the Superwoman cape long enough, it stops being empowering. And starts being suffocating.

Let’s be real, how many times have you:

  • Said “yes” when you were mentally drained?
  • Worked late, not because you had to, but because you didn’t want to look like you couldn’t handle it?
  • Skipped therapy or journaling or just quiet time because someone else “needed” you more?

I’ve lived this. There was a time when I was running my business, working a full time W-2 job, raising three teenagers, managing a household, and saying “yes” to everyone event. Outwardly, I looked successful. But inside? I was unraveling. I couldn’t sleep. My body was giving me warning signs. I felt resentful, something I had never allowed myself to admit.

What I learned the hard way is this: You don’t have to be Superwoman to be worthy of success, peace, or rest.


You Don’t Have to Be Superwoman and Here’s What Success Looks Like Now

Let’s reframe success from something you perform to something you experience.

Reimagining Success on Your Own Terms

Success doesn’t have to mean burnout. It can mean:

  • Working in alignment with your values.
  • Leading with empathy and authenticity.
  • Creating space for rest, joy, and ease.
  • Saying “I don’t know” without fear of being seen as incompetent.

You can still lead, still dominate in your field, and not grind yourself into the ground. One of my clients used to think that taking a day off would make her look unreliable. Now? She blocks out one Friday a month just to recharge. And guess what? Her productivity and team satisfaction have gone up.


Here are Practical Steps to Let Go of the Cape so You Don’t Have to Be Superwoman

Here’s how you start releasing the pressure and reclaiming your power.

1. Challenge the Narrative

Ask yourself:

  • Who told me I had to do it all?
  • What would happen if I didn’t?
  • Whose version of success am I chasing?

Sometimes, the beliefs holding us back aren’t even ours. They’re inherited expectations, trauma responses, or societal scripts.

2. Redefine Boundaries

Boundaries aren’t walls, they’re clarity. Saying “no” is an act of leadership. Start small: decline one non-essential meeting. Delegate a task. Communicate your working hours clearly.

Boundaries aren’t about keeping people out. They’re about keeping you in alignment.

3. Normalize Asking for Help

Therapists, coaches, assistants, friends. You don’t have to do this alone. A superwoman doesn’t ask for help. But real leaders do. Seeking support isn’t a weakness; it’s a strategy.

4. Honor Your Capacity

Rest is not a reward for exhaustion. It is a right. Your body and mind need downtime to function at their best. Normalize naps. Celebrate slow days. Reclaim your rhythm.


My Own Journey to Taking Off the Cape Changed Everything

There was a time when I wore that cape with pride. I thought being everything to everyone made me valuable.

But after a health scare, one that forced me to stop and reflect, I realized I was performing strength, not living it.

That’s when I began working with my own coach, setting real boundaries, and saying “no” more often than “yes.” At first, I was terrified. I thought everything would fall apart.

It didn’t.

What actually happened was this:

  • I became more present with my family.
  • I showed up more powerfully for my clients.
  • I felt whole again.

And now I help other women do the same, because you don’t have to be Superwoman to be impactful, respected, or fulfilled.


You Don’t Have to Be Superwoman Because You Already Are Enough

So here’s what I want you to know, deeply and unapologetically:

✨ You can be ambitious and gentle with yourself.
✨ You can lead powerfully without proving your worth through struggle.
✨ You don’t have to be Superwoman to be loved, valued, or respected.

You don’t need the cape to fly.


Ready to Let Go of the Cape?

Done with over-functioning, people-pleasing, and perfectionism… I see you. I’ve been you. And I’m here to support you.

Because it’s not about becoming Superwoman. It’s about becoming yourself. Fully, freely, and without apology.


Beautiful Black woman sitting a chair, smiling at camera; career guide, career expert, Black women, Black women, why I changed career, confidence, career ladder, career change, career coach for career change, career coach for resume writing, career coach for job interview preparation, career coach for salary negotiation, executive career coach, career coach for entrepreneurs, career coach for work-life balance, career coach for remote work, career coach for diversity and inclusion, sabotaging boss, career guidance micromanaging boss; self-doubt; overcoming self-doubt;How self-doubt affects decision making Overcoming self-doubt to make better decisions Tips for making decisions when you're unsure of yourself Overcoming self-doubt and paralysis by analysis Making decisions with confidence despite self-doubt; How self-doubt can hold you back in your career Overcoming self-doubt to achieve career success Tips for building a successful career despite self-doubt Overcoming self-doubt and imposter syndrome How self-doubt can limit your earning potential; templates for letters of resignation; change in career, change in careers, changes in career, resignation letter in word format, letter of resignation template, free letter of resignation sample free, letters of resignation samples free, letter of resignation templates free, free letters of resignation templates, letters of resignation templates free, free templates for resignation letters, quit the job letter, quit a job letter, letter to quit job, leave notice letter, leave notice letter, letters to quit, letter of quitting, quit letter, free letters of resignation, -sample letter of resignation from job, resignation letter to job, how to end resignation letter,notice of quitting template, -quit job letter template, -quitting job letter template template for notice letter, -quit letter template , notice letter template template notice letter, -template for quitting a job, -quit job template, -letter of resignation copy and paste copy and paste letter of resignation, -quitting job template, -copy and paste resignation letter resignation letter copy and paste, -no notice resignation letter template, letter to quit your job, stepping down from a position letter template sample letter stepping down from a position, -notice to quit job template, -notice to quit work template, resignation letter to quit a job; goal setting for Black women; quiet quitting; find best Black career coach; best Black executive coach near; employer's financial health; self-leadership; Superwoman; find best Black executive coach;
Twanna Carter, PhD, PCC, Career Coach. Photo by Renee Wilhite

I’m a certified executive coach and an ICF Professional Certified Coach (PCC)   for Twanna Carter Professional & Personal Coaching, LLC. I flubbed my first career transition from the military so badly, it took me the next 10+ years to build my confidence and  recover. I know what it feels like to struggle with imposter syndrome and uncertainty about my leadership skills in the workplace. It’s why I am dedicated to empowering Black women. Helping them navigate career challenges and uncertainty by providing them with the tools and strategies they need to be successful. Schedule a V.I.P. Roadmap session today.

If you enjoyed this blog, please share it. If you’re also feeling generous, consider Buying Me a Coffee.☕️

Curated Reads: Essential Books to Add to Your Personal Library 

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Hello, I'm  Dr. Twanna
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And live your best life  now?
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May 12, 2025

Hustle Culture

How to Stop Being Superwoman and Let Go of the Cape

If you’re the go-to person at work, the fixer in your family, the one who makes it all look easy, this is for you.

Maybe you’ve mastered the art of multitasking and still manage to look put-together in the morning Zoom call. Maybe you’ve climbed the ladder, broken barriers, and still feel like you’re carrying a weight no one sees. Here’s the truth: You don’t have to be Superwoman to be successful.

And you never did.

As a coach for Black executive women, I’ve sat across from powerful, smart women, CEOs, VPs, directors, and founders. They were all exhausted. 

Black Superwoman;
Let Go of the Cape. Why You Don’t Have to Be Superwoman to Be Successful; find Black executive coach; best Black executive coach near; rest; hustle culture;
Image generated by Author using Sintra

Not because they’re weak, but because they’ve been conditioned to be everything for everyone

But somewhere along the way, they forgot to be something for themselves.

It’s time to unlearn that. Let’s talk about what it really means to succeed. And to do it without the cape.


The Superwoman Complex. Where It Starts

We didn’t put the cape on by accident. We inherited it.

From childhood, many of us watched the women around us work tirelessly and silently, making sacrifices as if it was just part of being a Black woman. Strength was survival. We learned that rest was laziness. Asking for help? A sign of weakness. And success? That had to be earned with double the effort and none of the complaints.

In the workplace, especially in predominantly white spaces, the pressure to prove ourselves is magnified. It’s not just about competence, it’s about perfection. We’re often the only in the room. The only Black woman. The only person who gets it. So we armor up.

I remember one of my clients telling me, “If I’m not on 24/7, I feel like I’ll drop every ball, and people will notice.” She was leading a global team, mentoring junior staff, managing her home, and barely sleeping. The cape was weighing her down, but she couldn’t imagine taking it off.

Does this ring a bell with you?


You Don’t Have to Be Superwoman to Be Strong

Real Strength Looks Different Than What We Were Taught

Somewhere along the way, we confused strength with self-neglect. But hear me when I say this:
Strength is not about how much you can carry. It’s about knowing what’s yours to carry at all.

Strength is:

  • Saying “no” when your plate is full.
  • Taking PTO and unplugging.
  • Asking for support, at home, at work, in your friendships.
  • Admitting, “I’m not okay right now.”

Letting go of the Superwoman identity doesn’t mean giving up your ambition or your excellence. It means rewriting what your version of success looks like. And making sure your mental and emotional well-being is part of the picture.


The Cost of the Cape: Burnout, Isolation, and Quiet Desperation

When you wear the Superwoman cape long enough, it stops being empowering. And starts being suffocating.

Let’s be real, how many times have you:

  • Said “yes” when you were mentally drained?
  • Worked late, not because you had to, but because you didn’t want to look like you couldn’t handle it?
  • Skipped therapy or journaling or just quiet time because someone else “needed” you more?

I’ve lived this. There was a time when I was running my business, working a full time W-2 job, raising three teenagers, managing a household, and saying “yes” to everyone event. Outwardly, I looked successful. But inside? I was unraveling. I couldn’t sleep. My body was giving me warning signs. I felt resentful, something I had never allowed myself to admit.

What I learned the hard way is this: You don’t have to be Superwoman to be worthy of success, peace, or rest.


You Don’t Have to Be Superwoman and Here’s What Success Looks Like Now

Let’s reframe success from something you perform to something you experience.

Reimagining Success on Your Own Terms

Success doesn’t have to mean burnout. It can mean:

  • Working in alignment with your values.
  • Leading with empathy and authenticity.
  • Creating space for rest, joy, and ease.
  • Saying “I don’t know” without fear of being seen as incompetent.

You can still lead, still dominate in your field, and not grind yourself into the ground. One of my clients used to think that taking a day off would make her look unreliable. Now? She blocks out one Friday a month just to recharge. And guess what? Her productivity and team satisfaction have gone up.


Here are Practical Steps to Let Go of the Cape so You Don’t Have to Be Superwoman

Here’s how you start releasing the pressure and reclaiming your power.

1. Challenge the Narrative

Ask yourself:

  • Who told me I had to do it all?
  • What would happen if I didn’t?
  • Whose version of success am I chasing?

Sometimes, the beliefs holding us back aren’t even ours. They’re inherited expectations, trauma responses, or societal scripts.

2. Redefine Boundaries

Boundaries aren’t walls, they’re clarity. Saying “no” is an act of leadership. Start small: decline one non-essential meeting. Delegate a task. Communicate your working hours clearly.

Boundaries aren’t about keeping people out. They’re about keeping you in alignment.

3. Normalize Asking for Help

Therapists, coaches, assistants, friends. You don’t have to do this alone. A superwoman doesn’t ask for help. But real leaders do. Seeking support isn’t a weakness; it’s a strategy.

4. Honor Your Capacity

Rest is not a reward for exhaustion. It is a right. Your body and mind need downtime to function at their best. Normalize naps. Celebrate slow days. Reclaim your rhythm.


My Own Journey to Taking Off the Cape Changed Everything

There was a time when I wore that cape with pride. I thought being everything to everyone made me valuable.

But after a health scare, one that forced me to stop and reflect, I realized I was performing strength, not living it.

That’s when I began working with my own coach, setting real boundaries, and saying “no” more often than “yes.” At first, I was terrified. I thought everything would fall apart.

It didn’t.

What actually happened was this:

  • I became more present with my family.
  • I showed up more powerfully for my clients.
  • I felt whole again.

And now I help other women do the same, because you don’t have to be Superwoman to be impactful, respected, or fulfilled.


You Don’t Have to Be Superwoman Because You Already Are Enough

So here’s what I want you to know, deeply and unapologetically:

✨ You can be ambitious and gentle with yourself.
✨ You can lead powerfully without proving your worth through struggle.
✨ You don’t have to be Superwoman to be loved, valued, or respected.

You don’t need the cape to fly.


Ready to Let Go of the Cape?

Done with over-functioning, people-pleasing, and perfectionism… I see you. I’ve been you. And I’m here to support you.

Because it’s not about becoming Superwoman. It’s about becoming yourself. Fully, freely, and without apology.


Beautiful Black woman sitting a chair, smiling at camera; career guide, career expert, Black women, Black women, why I changed career, confidence, career ladder, career change, career coach for career change, career coach for resume writing, career coach for job interview preparation, career coach for salary negotiation, executive career coach, career coach for entrepreneurs, career coach for work-life balance, career coach for remote work, career coach for diversity and inclusion, sabotaging boss, career guidance micromanaging boss; self-doubt; overcoming self-doubt;How self-doubt affects decision making Overcoming self-doubt to make better decisions Tips for making decisions when you're unsure of yourself Overcoming self-doubt and paralysis by analysis Making decisions with confidence despite self-doubt; How self-doubt can hold you back in your career Overcoming self-doubt to achieve career success Tips for building a successful career despite self-doubt Overcoming self-doubt and imposter syndrome How self-doubt can limit your earning potential; templates for letters of resignation; change in career, change in careers, changes in career, resignation letter in word format, letter of resignation template, free letter of resignation sample free, letters of resignation samples free, letter of resignation templates free, free letters of resignation templates, letters of resignation templates free, free templates for resignation letters, quit the job letter, quit a job letter, letter to quit job, leave notice letter, leave notice letter, letters to quit, letter of quitting, quit letter, free letters of resignation, -sample letter of resignation from job, resignation letter to job, how to end resignation letter,notice of quitting template, -quit job letter template, -quitting job letter template template for notice letter, -quit letter template , notice letter template template notice letter, -template for quitting a job, -quit job template, -letter of resignation copy and paste copy and paste letter of resignation, -quitting job template, -copy and paste resignation letter resignation letter copy and paste, -no notice resignation letter template, letter to quit your job, stepping down from a position letter template sample letter stepping down from a position, -notice to quit job template, -notice to quit work template, resignation letter to quit a job; goal setting for Black women; quiet quitting; find best Black career coach; best Black executive coach near; employer's financial health; self-leadership; Superwoman; find best Black executive coach;
Twanna Carter, PhD, PCC, Career Coach. Photo by Renee Wilhite

I’m a certified executive coach and an ICF Professional Certified Coach (PCC)   for Twanna Carter Professional & Personal Coaching, LLC. I flubbed my first career transition from the military so badly, it took me the next 10+ years to build my confidence and  recover. I know what it feels like to struggle with imposter syndrome and uncertainty about my leadership skills in the workplace. It’s why I am dedicated to empowering Black women. Helping them navigate career challenges and uncertainty by providing them with the tools and strategies they need to be successful. Schedule a V.I.P. Roadmap session today.

If you enjoyed this blog, please share it. If you’re also feeling generous, consider Buying Me a Coffee.☕️

Curated Reads: Essential Books to Add to Your Personal Library 

Read my latest blogs…

Let Go of the Cape! Why You Don’t Have to Be Superwoman to Be Successful

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Meet Dr. Twanna

Welcome to my blog! As a passionate reader and travel enthusiast, I've spent years soaking up stories from diverse cultures and landscapes. 
I am committed to creating an empowering space where Black women can celebrate their achievements, learn from their challenges, and find inspiration for their journey.
I hope you find value in these shared experiences and insights. Enjoy exploring!

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