If you’re the go-to person at work, the fixer in your family, the one who makes it all look easy, this is for you.

Maybe you’ve mastered the art of multitasking and still manage to look put-together in the morning Zoom call. Maybe you’ve climbed the ladder, broken barriers, and still feel like you’re carrying a weight no one sees. Here’s the truth: You don’t have to be Superwoman to be successful.

And you never did.

As a coach for Black executive women, I’ve sat across from powerful, smart women, CEOs, VPs, directors, and founders. They were all exhausted. 

Not because they’re weak, but because they’ve been conditioned to be everything for everyone. 

But somewhere along the way, they forgot to be something for themselves.

It’s time to unlearn that. Let’s talk about what it really means to succeed. And to do it without the cape.

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The Superwoman Complex. Where It Starts

We didn’t put the cape on by accident. We inherited it.

From childhood, many of us watched the women around us work tirelessly and silently, making sacrifices as if it was just part of being a Black woman. Strength was survival. We learned that rest was laziness. Asking for help? A sign of weakness. And success? That had to be earned with double the effort and none of the complaints.

In the workplace, especially in predominantly white spaces, the pressure to prove ourselves is magnified. It’s not just about competence, it’s about perfection. We’re often the only in the room. The only Black woman. The only person who gets it. So we armor up.

I remember one of my clients telling me, “If I’m not on 24/7, I feel like I’ll drop every ball, and people will notice.” She was leading a global team, mentoring junior staff, managing her home, and barely sleeping. The cape was weighing her down, but she couldn’t imagine taking it off.

Does this ring a bell with you?

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You Don’t Have to Be Superwoman to Be Strong

Real Strength Looks Different Than What We Were Taught

Somewhere along the way, we confused strength with self-neglect. But hear me when I say this:
Strength is not about how much you can carry. It’s about knowing what’s yours to carry at all.

Strength is:

• Saying “no” when your plate is full.
  
• Taking PTO and unplugging.
  
• Asking for support, at home, at work, in your friendships.
  
• Admitting, “I’m not okay right now.”
  

Letting go of the Superwoman identity doesn’t mean giving up your ambition or your excellence. It means rewriting what your version of success looks like. And making sure your mental and emotional well-being is part of the picture.

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The Cost of the Cape: Burnout, Isolation, and Quiet Desperation

When you wear the Superwoman cape long enough, it stops being empowering. And starts being suffocating.

Let’s be real, how many times have you:

• Said “yes” when you were mentally drained?
  
• Worked late, not because you had to, but because you didn’t want to look like you couldn’t handle it?
  
• Skipped therapy or journaling or just quiet time because someone else “needed” you more?
  

I’ve lived this. There was a time when I was running my business, working a full time W-2 job, raising three teenagers, managing a household, and saying “yes” to everyone event. Outwardly, I looked successful. But inside? I was unraveling. I couldn’t sleep. My body was giving me warning signs. I felt resentful, something I had never allowed myself to admit.

What I learned the hard way is this: You don’t have to be Superwoman to be worthy of success, peace, or rest.

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You Don’t Have to Be Superwoman and Here’s What Success Looks Like Now

Let’s reframe success from something you perform to something you experience.

Reimagining Success on Your Own Terms

Success doesn’t have to mean burnout. It can mean:

• Working in alignment with your values.
  
• Leading with empathy and authenticity.
  
• Creating space for rest, joy, and ease.
  
• Saying “I don’t know” without fear of being seen as incompetent.
  

You can still lead, still dominate in your field, and not grind yourself into the ground. One of my clients used to think that taking a day off would make her look unreliable. Now? She blocks out one Friday a month just to recharge. And guess what? Her productivity and team satisfaction have gone up.

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Here are Practical Steps to Let Go of the Cape so You Don’t Have to Be Superwoman

Here’s how you start releasing the pressure and reclaiming your power.

1. Challenge the Narrative

Ask yourself:

• Who told me I had to do it all?
  
• What would happen if I didn’t?
  
• Whose version of success am I chasing?
  

Sometimes, the beliefs holding us back aren’t even ours. They’re inherited expectations, trauma responses, or societal scripts.

2. Redefine Boundaries

Boundaries aren’t walls, they’re clarity. Saying “no” is an act of leadership. Start small: decline one non-essential meeting. Delegate a task. Communicate your working hours clearly.

Boundaries aren’t about keeping people out. They’re about keeping you in alignment.

3. Normalize Asking for Help

Therapists, coaches, assistants, friends. You don’t have to do this alone. A superwoman doesn’t ask for help. But real leaders do. Seeking support isn’t a weakness; it’s a strategy.

4. Honor Your Capacity

Rest is not a reward for exhaustion. It is a right. Your body and mind need downtime to function at their best. Normalize naps. Celebrate slow days. Reclaim your rhythm.

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My Own Journey to Taking Off the Cape Changed Everything

There was a time when I wore that cape with pride. I thought being everything to everyone made me valuable.

But after a health scare, one that forced me to stop and reflect, I realized I was performing strength, not living it.

That’s when I began working with my own coach, setting real boundaries, and saying “no” more often than “yes.” At first, I was terrified. I thought everything would fall apart.

It didn’t.

What actually happened was this:

• I became more present with my family.
  
• I showed up more powerfully for my clients.
  
• I felt whole again.
  

And now I help other women do the same, because you don’t have to be Superwoman to be impactful, respected, or fulfilled.

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You Don’t Have to Be Superwoman Because You Already Are Enough

So here’s what I want you to know, deeply and unapologetically:

✨ You can be ambitious and gentle with yourself.
✨ You can lead powerfully without proving your worth through struggle.
✨ You don’t have to be Superwoman to be loved, valued, or respected.

You don’t need the cape to fly.

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Ready to Let Go of the Cape?

Done with over-functioning, people-pleasing, and perfectionism… I see you. I’ve been you. And I’m here to support you.

🔸 Download my guide: “From Burnout to Balance: 5 Steps to Redefining Success”
 

Because it’s not about becoming Superwoman. It’s about becoming yourself. Fully, freely, and without apology.

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I’m a certified executive coach and an ICF Professional Certified Coach (PCC)   for Twanna Carter Professional & Personal Coaching, LLC. I flubbed my first career transition from the military so badly, it took me the next 10+ years to build my confidence and  recover. I know what it feels like to struggle with imposter syndrome and uncertainty about my leadership skills in the workplace. It’s why I am dedicated to empowering Black women. Helping them navigate career challenges and uncertainty by providing them with the tools and strategies they need to be successful. Schedule a V.I.P. Roadmap session today.

If you enjoyed this blog, please share it. If you’re also feeling generous, consider Buying Me a Coffee.☕️

Curated Reads: Essential Books to Add to Your Personal Library 

• Corporate Blues, The Untold Stories of Women in Toxic Workplaces, presented by Dr. Carey Yazeed, featuring Dr. Twanna Carter
• Job Offers 101 – Everything You’ve Always Wanted to Know by Dr. Twanna Carter
• Melaninated Magic: 180 Affirmations to Nurture Your Soul and Unleash Your Black Girl Joy by Dr. Twanna Carter
• Unbreak My Soul: How Black Women Can Begin To Heal From Workplace Trauma, by Carey Yazeed, PhD
• The Next Level: A 30-Day Career Growth Planner for Black Women by Dr. Twanna Carter
• 33 Tools to Remake Your Career by Paul Gabriel Dionne
• I’m Not Yelling: A Black Woman’s Guide to Navigating the Workplace (Successful Black Business Women), by Elizabeth Leiba.
• Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler.
• Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini.
• How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
• Overworked and Undervalued: Black Women and Success in America by Rosalyn D. Davis, Sharon L. Bowman, et. al.
• Power Negotiation – Getting to the Yes: Strategies to Get What You Want, When You Want It by Patrick Kennedy
• Set Free to Live Free: Breaking Through the 7 Lies Women Tell Themselves by Saundra Dalton-Smith, MD

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