From Anxiety

Anxiety can present at any age. I was an anxious child, from being afraid of the dark, to the constant fear of my parents dying, to being ashamed of walking across a room to sharpen my pencil in school. That anxiety became social anxiety during my teen years (although I wouldn’t know this for another 20 years!).

And college was was worse. Ugh!

I went hungry my first two days of college because I was too afraid to go to the cafeteria alone. I didn’t realize I was an introvert, and fitting in at college was extremely challenge for me.

My Career, the Early Years

When I graduated with my degree, I was also commissioned a 2LT in the US Army. Because I had social anxiety, I found it really challenging to network. Self-promotion very difficult with my managers and senior level staff.

As an introvert, I was guarded and I warm up very slowly to people. So slowly, that many times people assumed I was incompetent. My own anxiety and self-doubt, and impostor syndrome made me feel insecure as a leader. As a human being I felt incompetent!

Early in my career after spending 6 years in the U.S. Army, I decided to leave the military. I received many job offers from large corporations that wanted to put me into leadership roles.

I turned them all down.

For years after that, I continued to be offered prestigious promotions within the companies I worked for.

I turned them all down, too.

I felt terrified of speaking up in meetings. the thought of being responsible for other people paralyzed me. And taking the lead on a new project? Forget it.

I was convinced that I wasn’t really a leader. Besides, there was no way I had enough experience or knowledge to excel in an advanced position.

This led me stay stuck in jobs, bypassed for promotions, resulting in the loss of tens of thousands of dollars of income each year.

The Breaking Point…

I was exhausted from living with the constant weight of anxiety and fear. To put it another way, I was fed up with feeling like I was on edge all the time, waiting for the next bad thing to happen. The next failure waiting for me around the next corner.

It was like I was powerless to control my own emotions. I was tired of sneaking food at night and eating it in secret, trying to numb the pain. It was all utterly exhausting. There had to be a way out of feeling disgusted with myself, my body, and my life all the time.

At the end of the day, I was tired of fear holding me back. And done with the disappointment of being bypassed for promotions.

Anxiety Breakthrough

Then I had the most amazing breakthrough!

While doing research for one of my classes, I came across the definition for something called social anxiety.

I was stunned.

As I read it, it seemed like this person had been following me around all of my life, knew me and wrote my entire life history in that article. They knew everything I’d been feeling and going through.

This was my aha moment! That’s when I started to research and research. Which lead me to reading dozens of books.

I knew then that realizing what I had, social anxiety, I could now take definitive action to beat it.

Resilient instead of anxious, I…

✅ was able let go of the toxic guilt and shame I’d carried for years

✅ let go of perfectionism

✅ learned strategies to manage my anxiety

✅ let go of self-doubt

✅ learned how to use fear to take calculated risks

✅ started setting and achieving my own goals and visions for my life

Ultimately, This All Resulted In…

💪🏾 increased self-confidence

💪🏾 elevated sense of self-worth

💪🏾 more easily speaking up for myself

💪🏾 feeling empowered because I was in control of my life

💪🏾 completion of 2 graduate degrees

💪🏾 career transitions with several promotions and increased salary

💪🏾 starting my entrepreneurial journey

My Career Today

I now support women to achieve their full potential by helping them build confidence in their own self-worth, manage stress and anxiety, speak up, and let go of fear and self-doubt. I empower them to dream big and take leaps towards their next best level.

Learn about my journey through anxiety during a podcast interview with Alex Newsome of the The Griot.👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾

Do you feel anxious and insecure about your career?

You’re not alone. I’ve been there, and I can help.

Request a free 30-minute Career Solution Call with me today.

I’ll help you:

• Identify the sources of your stress and uncertainty
• Develop strategies to manage your stress and uncertainty
• Create a strategic plan to achieve your career goals

You have a right to feel enthusiastic and empowered about your career.

I can support you in living a better life with a career you love.

You only live once, so make it your best life.

I’m an ICF Professional Certified Coach (PCC) and career coach for Twanna Carter Professional & Personal Coaching, LLC. I failed my first career transition from the military so badly, it took me the next 10+ years to build my confidence and recover. I know what it feels like to struggle with imposter syndrome and uncertainty about my worth in the workplace. It’s why I am dedicated to empowering Black women. Helping them navigate change and uncertainty by providing them with the tools and strategies they need to be successful. Schedule a free 30-Minute Career Solution Call today.

Curated Reads: Essential Books to Add to Your Personal Library 

1. Soothe Your Nerves: The Black Woman’s Guide to Understanding and Overcoming Anxiety, Panic, and Fear by Dr. Angela Neal-Barnett
2. Melaninated Magic: 180 Affirmations to Nurture Your Soul and Unleash Your Black Girl Joy by Twanna Carter, PhD
3. I’m Not Yelling: A Black Woman’s Guide to Navigating the Workplace (Successful Black Business Women), Elizabeth Leiba
4. Stop Overthinking: 23 Techniques to Relieve Stress, Stop Negative Spirals, Declutter Your Mind, and Focus on the Present (The Path to Calm) by Nick Trenton
5. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini
6. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
7. High-Functioning Anxiety: A 5-Step Guide to Calming the Inner Panic and Thriving by Dr. Lalitaa Suglani
8. Dare to Lead by Brene Brown
9. The Memo, by Minda Harts
10. Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones, by James Clear
11. Worthy: How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life, by Jamie Kern Lima
12. The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: And Men: Why Capable People Suffer from Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It – Valerie Young, EdD

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