Is your mindset keeping you stuck in a rut? You may be stuck in a job that isn’t fulfilling, because you think it’s going to give you the financial stability that will lead to happiness.
Or maybe your habits are keeping you stuck.
It could be your self-image, or fear of change.
But what if you could change your mindset and find happiness right now?
Do you feel stuck in an unfulfilling job. Maybe you’re stuck in a relationship that doesn’t make you happy. Or you feel trapped in a life that isn’t fulfilling. You’ve tried everything, but nothing seems to work.
Perhaps it’s not the situation that’s holding you back maybe it’s your mindset.
You may be stuck in a job that isn’t fulfilling, because you think it’s going to give you the safety and security that will lead to happiness.
Safety and security are important, but they are not the most important thing in life. They can be an illusion, because it can be taken away at any time. Safety is not the same as happiness. Happiness comes from living a life that is in alignment with your values.
You may feel trapped in a relationship that doesn’t make you happy, because you don’t want to rock the boat.
When we’re stuck, we usually know it deep down. We know that our life just isn’t where we want it to be in some way. We feel like we lack control over events or circumstances, and that can lead us to become even more passive and reactive. It can also cause us to go into fight-or-flight modewe either resist change altogether or try to push too hard for change, both of which can lead us further into feeling stuck or overwhelmed.
The thing is: many people stay stuck in this place of fear and anxiety because they are afraid of rocking the boat. They don’t want to upset the other person (or themselves) by doing something different or making a change, so they continue living their lives with an underlying sense of dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
So why do we get stuck? Why do we let fear keep us from changing our situation? Here are some common reasons why people don’t rock the boat:
You may be stuck in a toxic relationship because you fear being alone.
You don’t want to hurt the other person: This is a valid point. However, you are doing them and yourself an injustice by staying in an unfulfilling relationship. They would be better off with someone who can fully commit emotionally and mentally to being in a relationship with them. It’s not fair to stay with someone who doesn’t love you or appreciate you enough to realize that they are doing more harm than good.
You don’t know how to get out of the relationship: You will never know until you try it. It’s time for some self-reflection when you’re alone, spend time thinking about what needs to change and how you can achieve it. If it’s talking about your feelings and concerns, then do it; if it means breaking up, then do that too don’t let anyone else talk you out of what is best for yourself!
You don’t want to be alone: Again, this is a valid concern, but the worst thing that can happen is loneliness; think about all of those great things that could come out of taking this step forward? You may meet someone who makes everything worth fighting for and waiting on.
You don’t want to be seen as a failure: Who says failing at something means there will never be another chance? Your first kiss may have been less than stellar, but now look where we are! All relationships take work and involve compromise – so no matter what happens just remember that YOU did your best. And if all else fails…wait five minutes before calling back.
You may be afraid to speak up and share your passion with the world, because it might not lead to a paycheck.
The fact is, you don’t have to feel bad or guilty about not making money from your passion. The entire idea that a paycheck is synonymous with success is a harmful one.
Still, there are ways to make money doing things you love, if that’s what you want. For example, you could start a consultative business and be paid by for your skills and knowledge. Or you could craft something handmade out of passion and sell it online. There are so many options today!
Think back to when you were a kid playing with Barbie dolls or Legosyou didn’t do it because someone told you to or because they were paying you; instead, it was fun. Your passion led the way and guided your decision-making process.
If we look at your life now, what would be different about it if your passions led the way? Would your career look different? How would this change impact other areas of life?
Because of your mindset, you may be afraid of success
If you’re stuck in a mindset that keeps you from reaching your goals, it could be that youre afraid of success. It may sound counterintuitive, but many people are afraid to advance and make progress toward their goals. Why? Because success means change and change is uncomfortable for most people.
Here are some of the fears underlying an unwillingness to move toward success:
Fear of the unknown. For example, if you graduate with a BS in engineering and land a job at a top corporation, how well will you adapt to that new environment? Will you fit in socially? These questions keep us from taking risks because we’re afraid of what we don’t knoweven though our fears may never come true.
Fear of disrupting the status quo. If you achieve your goal and start succeeding, things will definitely get shaken up. Your life might not look like the lives of the people around you anymore; they might not understand why things have changed or why they haven’t changed themselves yet; they may even resent your progress and accuse you of being selfish or self-centered. Letting go of relationships like these can be hard to do, but sometimes it’s necessary when striving for success.
Fear of having to learn new things or relearn old ones is a mindset issue! Learning creates growth and development but it also creates vulnerability and exposure as we put ourselves out there (feeling like a newbie again!) and try new things that challenge us intellectually and personally.
Fear of having to work harder than ever before was one I faced as I became a fulltime entrepreneur managing both of my businesses after years spent an employee. What would happen if I had my days jam-packed with meetings and conference calls instead?? What if every morning were filled with back-to-back interviews with candidates instead?? What if I had so much work lined up on my calendar that I had no time for anything else???
You may be afraid of failure, because then you’ve lost something.
Or you feel that you have let someone down. Or feel like you have nothing to show for all your hard work. This is a common mindset that actually works against us. Failure is usually a part of success in whatever we’re working onit doesn’t mean it’s the end of the road. Instead, it can teach us how to deal with stress and improve our coping skills. It can help us learn more about ourselves and what our values are. It allows room for growth in new areas of life that might have been previously unexplored or off-limits due to fear.
What happens if you do fail? What’s the worst-case scenario? Is it really so bad as to never even try? Is there anything you could do to prepare in case things don’t go according to plan?
Are limiting beliefs standing in your way of achieving career clarity?
Limiting beliefs are the beliefs that we have about ourselves that hold us back from achieving our goals.
A limiting belief is a strongly held opinion or thought that people think is true. In fact, it may not actually be true. Nor is it always proven to be fact. You choose to believe it because its comfortable for you to stay where you are.
You can change your limiting beliefs, but it takes time and effort. Thats why so many people find themselves stuck in this cycle . They want something more, but I don’t know what it is. It may sound harsh, but if you want to break free from your limiting beliefs, then you have to get uncomfortable. And stop blaming others for your career frustration. Which is another one of those sneaky limiting beliefs.
A simple question: does your mindset need to change? You probably already know that when you change your mindset, you will also change how you see your obstacles. As well, how you react to them. In addition, you will be surprised at how much easier it is to tackle them head on. It can seem hard to make these changes in our lives, especially when we’re not used to thinking about things in a different way. But with some practice and a lot of patience, imagine how you’ll find it easier than you think to achieve your goals and get unstuck. Sooner or later, you’ll increase that self-improvement because you know it doesn’t happen overnight, after all!
About the Author
Twanna Carter, PHD, PCC (photo by Renee Wilhite)
I’m Twanna Carter, Ph.D., and I help high achieving professional women who are anxious about transitioning into a new career, have absolute confidence and belief in their own abilities, shift their mindset so they can communicate their unique value, honor their true purpose, and boldly pursue their dream career.
In less than an hour, you can join the thousands of other women who have gone from being stuck in a career they hate to feeling fulfilled by a job that aligns with who they were meant to be.
In today’s fast-paced, high-pressure work environment, being an executive often feels like walking a tightrope. You’re expected to lead with confidence, navigate complex challenges, and deliver results. All while maintaining your personal well-being. For many executives, the stakes are high, and the… Read more: The Truth About Executive Coaches: Are They Worth the Money?
Even the Most Successful Executives Secretly Struggle with This… Have You Ever Felt Like You Don’t Deserve Your Success? You walk into the boardroom, prepared and confident. At least, that’s how you appear on the outside. Inside, however, a small but persistent… Read more: The Silent Career Killer: How Imposter Syndrome Shows Up in Leadership
Did you know that 42% of women leaders report burnout, struggling to balance high-pressure careers with personal fulfillment? For Black women in leadership, the challenges are even greater—navigating workplace microaggressions, imposter syndrome, and the pressure to prove themselves in male-dominated spaces. These… Read more: Unlock Your True Leadership Potential: The Secret to Thriving in High-Stakes Roles
Have You Ever Felt Invisible at Work? Like an Invisible Leader? You’re the one everyone relies on. You lead teams, solve problems, and drive results. So why does it feel like no one notices? Maybe you’ve been passed over for a promotion… Read more: The Invisible Leader: Why High-Achievers Often Go Unnoticed
Deciding whether it’s time to leave a job can feel like standing at a crossroads, unsure which path will lead to growth, fulfillment, and success. It’s not an easy decision, especially when you’ve invested time, energy, and passion into your career. However,… Read more: How to Know It’s Time to Leave a Job: 5 Clear Signs
Landing a new job offer can be exciting, but before signing that contract, there’s a critical question to ask: Is this company’s financial health strong enough to support your career stability? You don’t want to accept a dream role, only to find… Read more: 📉Avoid the Layoff Trap! How to Check an Employer’s Financial Health
From Barriers to Breakthroughs for Black Women Executives Let’s face it: climbing the corporate ladder as a Black woman isn’t just about the work you do. It’s about navigating stereotypes, dodging microaggressions, and finding your footing in high-stakes, high-pressure environments. It’s like… Read more: Empowering Black Women Executives to Thrive in Leadership
You Deserve a Career That Aligns with Your Worth Does this sound familiar? ✔️ You’ve built a successful career, but now you feel unfulfilled, overlooked, or simply ready to change careers. ✔️ You know you want something better, more aligned with your… Read more: Struggling to Change Careers? This 8-Step System Makes It EASY!
You’re sitting at your desk, already five minutes late for a meeting, with emails piling up, deadlines looming, and your phone buzzing incessantly. You’re exhausted just thinking about how much there’s left to do, let alone how to actually get it all… Read more: Time Blocking 101: Stress-Busting Productivity Hacks You Can’t Ignore
Imagine this: You’re preparing for a high-stakes board meeting. Deadlines are looming, emails are flooding in, and your team is looking to you for answers. On the surface, you’re calm and composed, but beneath it all, stress and self-doubt are building. Maybe… Read more: What Is Mental Fitness: Why It’s the Key for Our Well-Being
Have you ever ended the day exhausted but with little to show for it? Your to-do list still has unchecked tasks, and you feel like time slipped through your fingers. The culprit? Time wasters. Time is one of your most precious resources,… Read more: How to Identify Your Time Wasters and Eliminate Them Fast
Is your mindset keeping you stuck in a rut? You may be stuck in a job that isn’t fulfilling, because you think it’s going to give you the financial stability that will lead to happiness.
Or maybe your habits are keeping you stuck.
It could be your self-image, or fear of change.
But what if you could change your mindset and find happiness right now?
Do you feel stuck in an unfulfilling job. Maybe you’re stuck in a relationship that doesn’t make you happy. Or you feel trapped in a life that isn’t fulfilling. You’ve tried everything, but nothing seems to work.
Perhaps it’s not the situation that’s holding you back maybe it’s your mindset.
You may be stuck in a job that isn’t fulfilling, because you think it’s going to give you the safety and security that will lead to happiness.
Safety and security are important, but they are not the most important thing in life. They can be an illusion, because it can be taken away at any time. Safety is not the same as happiness. Happiness comes from living a life that is in alignment with your values.
You may feel trapped in a relationship that doesn’t make you happy, because you don’t want to rock the boat.
When we’re stuck, we usually know it deep down. We know that our life just isn’t where we want it to be in some way. We feel like we lack control over events or circumstances, and that can lead us to become even more passive and reactive. It can also cause us to go into fight-or-flight modewe either resist change altogether or try to push too hard for change, both of which can lead us further into feeling stuck or overwhelmed.
The thing is: many people stay stuck in this place of fear and anxiety because they are afraid of rocking the boat. They don’t want to upset the other person (or themselves) by doing something different or making a change, so they continue living their lives with an underlying sense of dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
So why do we get stuck? Why do we let fear keep us from changing our situation? Here are some common reasons why people don’t rock the boat:
You may be stuck in a toxic relationship because you fear being alone.
You don’t want to hurt the other person: This is a valid point. However, you are doing them and yourself an injustice by staying in an unfulfilling relationship. They would be better off with someone who can fully commit emotionally and mentally to being in a relationship with them. It’s not fair to stay with someone who doesn’t love you or appreciate you enough to realize that they are doing more harm than good.
You don’t know how to get out of the relationship: You will never know until you try it. It’s time for some self-reflection when you’re alone, spend time thinking about what needs to change and how you can achieve it. If it’s talking about your feelings and concerns, then do it; if it means breaking up, then do that too don’t let anyone else talk you out of what is best for yourself!
You don’t want to be alone: Again, this is a valid concern, but the worst thing that can happen is loneliness; think about all of those great things that could come out of taking this step forward? You may meet someone who makes everything worth fighting for and waiting on.
You don’t want to be seen as a failure: Who says failing at something means there will never be another chance? Your first kiss may have been less than stellar, but now look where we are! All relationships take work and involve compromise – so no matter what happens just remember that YOU did your best. And if all else fails…wait five minutes before calling back.
You may be afraid to speak up and share your passion with the world, because it might not lead to a paycheck.
The fact is, you don’t have to feel bad or guilty about not making money from your passion. The entire idea that a paycheck is synonymous with success is a harmful one.
Still, there are ways to make money doing things you love, if that’s what you want. For example, you could start a consultative business and be paid by for your skills and knowledge. Or you could craft something handmade out of passion and sell it online. There are so many options today!
Think back to when you were a kid playing with Barbie dolls or Legosyou didn’t do it because someone told you to or because they were paying you; instead, it was fun. Your passion led the way and guided your decision-making process.
If we look at your life now, what would be different about it if your passions led the way? Would your career look different? How would this change impact other areas of life?
Because of your mindset, you may be afraid of success
If you’re stuck in a mindset that keeps you from reaching your goals, it could be that youre afraid of success. It may sound counterintuitive, but many people are afraid to advance and make progress toward their goals. Why? Because success means change and change is uncomfortable for most people.
Here are some of the fears underlying an unwillingness to move toward success:
Fear of the unknown. For example, if you graduate with a BS in engineering and land a job at a top corporation, how well will you adapt to that new environment? Will you fit in socially? These questions keep us from taking risks because we’re afraid of what we don’t knoweven though our fears may never come true.
Fear of disrupting the status quo. If you achieve your goal and start succeeding, things will definitely get shaken up. Your life might not look like the lives of the people around you anymore; they might not understand why things have changed or why they haven’t changed themselves yet; they may even resent your progress and accuse you of being selfish or self-centered. Letting go of relationships like these can be hard to do, but sometimes it’s necessary when striving for success.
Fear of having to learn new things or relearn old ones is a mindset issue! Learning creates growth and development but it also creates vulnerability and exposure as we put ourselves out there (feeling like a newbie again!) and try new things that challenge us intellectually and personally.
Fear of having to work harder than ever before was one I faced as I became a fulltime entrepreneur managing both of my businesses after years spent an employee. What would happen if I had my days jam-packed with meetings and conference calls instead?? What if every morning were filled with back-to-back interviews with candidates instead?? What if I had so much work lined up on my calendar that I had no time for anything else???
You may be afraid of failure, because then you’ve lost something.
Or you feel that you have let someone down. Or feel like you have nothing to show for all your hard work. This is a common mindset that actually works against us. Failure is usually a part of success in whatever we’re working onit doesn’t mean it’s the end of the road. Instead, it can teach us how to deal with stress and improve our coping skills. It can help us learn more about ourselves and what our values are. It allows room for growth in new areas of life that might have been previously unexplored or off-limits due to fear.
What happens if you do fail? What’s the worst-case scenario? Is it really so bad as to never even try? Is there anything you could do to prepare in case things don’t go according to plan?
Are limiting beliefs standing in your way of achieving career clarity?
Limiting beliefs are the beliefs that we have about ourselves that hold us back from achieving our goals.
A limiting belief is a strongly held opinion or thought that people think is true. In fact, it may not actually be true. Nor is it always proven to be fact. You choose to believe it because its comfortable for you to stay where you are.
You can change your limiting beliefs, but it takes time and effort. Thats why so many people find themselves stuck in this cycle . They want something more, but I don’t know what it is. It may sound harsh, but if you want to break free from your limiting beliefs, then you have to get uncomfortable. And stop blaming others for your career frustration. Which is another one of those sneaky limiting beliefs.
A simple question: does your mindset need to change? You probably already know that when you change your mindset, you will also change how you see your obstacles. As well, how you react to them. In addition, you will be surprised at how much easier it is to tackle them head on. It can seem hard to make these changes in our lives, especially when we’re not used to thinking about things in a different way. But with some practice and a lot of patience, imagine how you’ll find it easier than you think to achieve your goals and get unstuck. Sooner or later, you’ll increase that self-improvement because you know it doesn’t happen overnight, after all!
About the Author
Twanna Carter, PHD, PCC (photo by Renee Wilhite)
I’m Twanna Carter, Ph.D., and I help high achieving professional women who are anxious about transitioning into a new career, have absolute confidence and belief in their own abilities, shift their mindset so they can communicate their unique value, honor their true purpose, and boldly pursue their dream career.
In less than an hour, you can join the thousands of other women who have gone from being stuck in a career they hate to feeling fulfilled by a job that aligns with who they were meant to be.
In today’s fast-paced, high-pressure work environment, being an executive often feels like walking a tightrope. You’re expected to lead with confidence, navigate complex challenges, and deliver results. All while maintaining your personal well-being. For many executives, the stakes are high, and the… Read more: The Truth About Executive Coaches: Are They Worth the Money?
Even the Most Successful Executives Secretly Struggle with This… Have You Ever Felt Like You Don’t Deserve Your Success? You walk into the boardroom, prepared and confident. At least, that’s how you appear on the outside. Inside, however, a small but persistent… Read more: The Silent Career Killer: How Imposter Syndrome Shows Up in Leadership
Did you know that 42% of women leaders report burnout, struggling to balance high-pressure careers with personal fulfillment? For Black women in leadership, the challenges are even greater—navigating workplace microaggressions, imposter syndrome, and the pressure to prove themselves in male-dominated spaces. These… Read more: Unlock Your True Leadership Potential: The Secret to Thriving in High-Stakes Roles
Have You Ever Felt Invisible at Work? Like an Invisible Leader? You’re the one everyone relies on. You lead teams, solve problems, and drive results. So why does it feel like no one notices? Maybe you’ve been passed over for a promotion… Read more: The Invisible Leader: Why High-Achievers Often Go Unnoticed
Deciding whether it’s time to leave a job can feel like standing at a crossroads, unsure which path will lead to growth, fulfillment, and success. It’s not an easy decision, especially when you’ve invested time, energy, and passion into your career. However,… Read more: How to Know It’s Time to Leave a Job: 5 Clear Signs
Landing a new job offer can be exciting, but before signing that contract, there’s a critical question to ask: Is this company’s financial health strong enough to support your career stability? You don’t want to accept a dream role, only to find… Read more: 📉Avoid the Layoff Trap! How to Check an Employer’s Financial Health
From Barriers to Breakthroughs for Black Women Executives Let’s face it: climbing the corporate ladder as a Black woman isn’t just about the work you do. It’s about navigating stereotypes, dodging microaggressions, and finding your footing in high-stakes, high-pressure environments. It’s like… Read more: Empowering Black Women Executives to Thrive in Leadership
You Deserve a Career That Aligns with Your Worth Does this sound familiar? ✔️ You’ve built a successful career, but now you feel unfulfilled, overlooked, or simply ready to change careers. ✔️ You know you want something better, more aligned with your… Read more: Struggling to Change Careers? This 8-Step System Makes It EASY!
You’re sitting at your desk, already five minutes late for a meeting, with emails piling up, deadlines looming, and your phone buzzing incessantly. You’re exhausted just thinking about how much there’s left to do, let alone how to actually get it all… Read more: Time Blocking 101: Stress-Busting Productivity Hacks You Can’t Ignore
Imagine this: You’re preparing for a high-stakes board meeting. Deadlines are looming, emails are flooding in, and your team is looking to you for answers. On the surface, you’re calm and composed, but beneath it all, stress and self-doubt are building. Maybe… Read more: What Is Mental Fitness: Why It’s the Key for Our Well-Being
Have you ever ended the day exhausted but with little to show for it? Your to-do list still has unchecked tasks, and you feel like time slipped through your fingers. The culprit? Time wasters. Time is one of your most precious resources,… Read more: How to Identify Your Time Wasters and Eliminate Them Fast
Welcome to my blog! As a passionate reader and travel enthusiast, I've spent years soaking up stories from diverse cultures and landscapes. I am committed to creating an empowering space where Black women can celebrate their achievements, learn from their challenges, and find inspiration for their journey. I hope you find value in these shared experiences and insights. Enjoy exploring!
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