You Feel Empty at Work, But Everyone Needs You
May 19, 2025
For Black Women Who Keep Performing. Even When the Tank Is Empty


Let’s keep it real for a moment, how many times do you feel empty, but still show up like you’re full at work?
Your phone rings, the inbox keeps flooding, and you’ve got Zoom meetings back-to-back. But inside, there’s a hollowness you can’t quite explain. You’re functioning. In fact, you’re still doing a lot. But none of it feels like you. You’re tired. You’re on E. And the more you perform, the more invisible your inner struggle becomes.
If you’re a high-achieving Black woman who’s always been “the strong one,” this feeling is probably familiar. The pressure to keep delivering even when you feel empty is very real.
So let’s talk about what’s going on, and what to do when life expects your best, but you don’t feel like yourself anymore.
You Feel Empty, But They Still Expect You to Lead
Let’s face it. Our culture often glorifies productivity over well-being. Especially for Black women in leadership roles.
You’re praised for your work ethic, admired for your resilience, and relied on for your calm under pressure. But behind that high performance is a woman who’s wondering: Why do I feel so disconnected from my own life? Besides…I’m tired.
This is a different kind of emptiness. Not dramatic. Not dysfunctional. Just… disconnected. You go to work. You manage the team. You meet the deadlines. But inside, you feel like a shell of yourself.
I’ve had clients whisper during sessions, “I don’t even know what I want anymore. I’m just… going through the motions.”
I’ve been there myself. Still showing up, still meeting expectations, still saying “I’ve got it,” even when I didn’t have anything left inside that felt like joy, meaning, or fulfillment.
What It Means When You Feel Empty (And Still Deliver)
When you feel empty, it doesn’t always mean you’re struggling outwardly. Often, you’re hitting goals, mentoring others, and smiling during all-hands meetings. But internally?
You may feel:
- Numb
- Uninterested in your work, even if you’re good at it
- Disconnected from your “why”
- Like you’re succeeding at everything except feeling satisfied
- A tiredness, way deep down on the inside
This internal disconnect can happen for several reasons. For high-performing Black women, it often stems from being in constant output mode with little time, or permission, to reconnect with your inner self.
Why Black Executive Women Experience This Emptiness So Often
🎯 High Expectations with No Space to Pause
You’re expected to move at warp speed:
lead meetings,
solve problems,
respond to emails,
mentor your team,
and still somehow fit in self-care, family time, and possibly a side hustle (or 2).
But here’s the kicker…
Even when your plate is overflowing, people still expect you to smile and deliver with grace. There’s no margin for pausing. No room for asking, “Do I even enjoy this anymore?”
🎭 Performing “Wellness” While Silently Drifting
There’s a specific kind of pressure to appear balanced. You post your vacation photos, attend your wellness webinars, and maybe you even meditate. But it all feels performative. Deep down, you feel empty. Like your life is happening to you, not for you.
How the World Reacts When You Say Nothing, and Just Keep Going
The irony? The better you are at functioning, the less likely people are to notice your internal struggle. You’re praised for being “so composed,” when what you really want to say is:
“I’m here, but I’m not present. I’m moving fast, but I’m going nowhere that feels like purpose.”
That’s the danger of being excellent while empty. The world just keeps asking for more.
The Hidden Cost of Performing While You Feel Empty
Let’s talk about what this costs you, not just emotionally and professionally:
🧭 You Lose Your Sense of Direction
You may start to question everything:
- Is this the right job?
- Is this even what I want anymore?
- Why doesn’t any of this feel fulfilling?
When you’re disconnected from yourself, your compass goes dim. You don’t know where you’re going, only that you’re going fast.
🧱 You Build a Life That No Longer Feels Like Yours
Many Black women have built lives that look good but don’t feel good. Don’t feel happy or content. The house, the salary, the role, all of it earned with blood, sweat, and strategy.
But now, it feels like you’re living a role, not a life.
If you’re feeling like this, it doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful. It means you’re aware. You’re waking up to the fact that success without alignment feels like a long, never ending grind.
What to Do When You Feel Empty but Still Have to Perform
This isn’t about dropping all your responsibilities. It’s about intentionally reconnecting with the parts of you that feel alive and true.
Here’s how to start:
✨ Step 1: Pause the Performance (Internally)
You don’t have to announce anything. But give yourself permission to stop pretending everything feels fine.
Privately acknowledge: I feel disconnected. I feel empty. I need something to shift.
That’s a powerful first move.
📊 Step 2: Ask Yourself Real Questions
Take 15 minutes. Grab a notebook or sit quietly and ask:
- What do I enjoy that I haven’t done in months?
- When did I last feel excited about something?
- What part of my day do I dread the most?
- Am I living a version of success that no longer fits?
This is about reclaiming self-awareness, not changing everything overnight.
🛑 Step 3: Slow the Pace Where You Can
Maybe you can’t cancel everything, but can you:
- Block 30 minutes on your calendar just for you?
- Say no to one request this week?
- Delegate a task you’ve been hoarding out of habit?
Small acts of slowing down help you regain clarity and space to breathe.
🧭 Step 4: Reconnect With What Makes You Feel Real
Ask yourself: What grounds me?
- Is it music that reminds you of your younger self?
- Journaling without editing your thoughts?
- Speaking to someone who sees you beyond your job title?
Do one thing this week that’s just for your soul, not your LinkedIn resume.
🤝🏾 Step 5: Get in a Space That Doesn’t Require Performance
This one’s non-negotiable. You need a space, whether it’s coaching, therapy, or sisterhood, where you don’t have to be “on” ALL the time.
A place where you can say:
“I’m doing everything right, and I still feel empty. What now?”
That’s what I offer my clients in our coaching sessions. Space to stop performing and start feeling again.
When You Feel Empty, You Don’t Need to Prove Yourself More
You’re not broken.
You’re not lazy.
You’re not ungrateful.
You’re simply living at a pace that leaves no room for self-connection. You’re carrying expectations that were never yours to hold alone.
And now, you’re realizing that I want more than this. Not more stuff. More meaning.
💬 Let’s Reflect Together
- What’s one small way you can reclaim 15 minutes for yourself this week?
- When’s the last time you felt deeply connected to what you were doing?
Drop a comment or DM me on LinkedIn. You don’t have to do this alone.
🎯 Ready to Reconnect With Your Purpose?
If you feel empty but can’t afford to stop moving, I want to help you recalibrate. In my confidential V.I.P. Roadmap Session, we’ll uncover what’s fueling the disconnect and design a plan that brings you back into alignment.
👉🏾 Book your session today. Let’s make your success feel like you again.


I’m a certified executive coach and an ICF Professional Certified Coach (PCC) for Twanna Carter Professional & Personal Coaching, LLC. I flubbed my first career transition from the military so badly, it took me the next 10+ years to build my confidence and recover. I know what it feels like to struggle with imposter syndrome and uncertainty about my leadership skills in the workplace. It’s why I am dedicated to empowering Black women. Helping them navigate career challenges and uncertainty by providing them with the tools and strategies they need to be successful. Schedule a V.I.P. Roadmap session today.
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