July 22, 2024


Black women leaders often carry an immense burden of responsibility. We’re expected to excel in our careers, nurture our families, and often, serve as pillars of our communities. This relentless drive to succeed can lead to a pervasive sense of guilt when we prioritize self-care. It’s time to break free from this guilt trap and understand that self-care is not selfish, but essential for sustaining our well-being and leadership effectiveness.
Understanding the Guilt Trap
The guilt trap is where individuals feel remorse or shame for taking time for themselves. When I left the Army, I often felt guilty about not filling every hour of my day working to complete a mission. I tossed a lot of negative and critical thoughts at myself. For Black women leaders, societal expectations, cultural norms, and the pressure to be everything to everyone can amplify this feeling. It’s crucial to recognize that this guilt is often misplaced. We have to take the steps that allow us to rejuvenate and rest without guilt.
The Importance of Self-Care for Black Women Leaders
Self-care is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. It’s about replenishing your physical, mental, and emotional resources. When Black women leaders prioritize self-care, they:
- Enhance Leadership Effectiveness: Self-care improves focus, creativity, and decision-making abilities.
- Prevent Burnout: Regular self-care helps manage stress and prevents burnout, which can be detrimental to both personal and professional life.
- Strengthen Resilience: Taking care of yourself builds resilience, enabling you to navigate challenges with greater fortitude.
- Set a Positive Example: By prioritizing self-care, you inspire others, particularly younger Black women, to value their own well-being.
Practical Self-Care Strategies for Black Women Leaders
Reduce Work Stress
- Set Boundaries: Establish clear work-life boundaries and learn to say no to excessive workloads.
- Time Management: Implement effective time management techniques to optimize productivity and reduce stress.
- Delegate Tasks: Empower your team by delegating tasks and responsibilities.
- Mindfulness and Meditation: Incorporate mindfulness and meditation practices to manage stress and increase focus.
Prioritize Physical Well-being
- Regular Exercise: Engage in physical activity that you enjoy, whether it’s walking, dancing, yoga, or hitting the gym.
- Nourishing Diet: Fuel your body with nutritious foods to boost energy and overall health.
- Sufficient Sleep: Prioritize quality sleep for optimal cognitive function and emotional well-being.
Cultivate Mental and Emotional Well-being
- Hobbies and Interests: Engage in activities you love to relax and recharge.
- Social Connection: Spend quality time with loved ones and build supportive relationships.
- Coaching: Consider seeking professional support for accountability with work-life challenges.
- Journaling: Express your thoughts and feelings through journaling.
Spiritual and Cultural Connection
- Connect with Your Roots: Explore and celebrate your cultural heritage.
- Spiritual Practices: Engage in spiritual practices that resonate with you.
- Community Involvement: Connect with your community and contribute to causes you believe in.
Overcoming the Guilt
Overcoming the guilt associated with self-care requires a mindset shift. Remind yourself that taking care of yourself is not selfish. Rather it’s an investment in your overall well-being and ability to contribute meaningfully to your career and community. Celebrate your self-care wins and encourage other Black women leaders to prioritize their well-being.
Remember, you deserve to thrive, not just survive. By breaking free from the guilt trap and embracing self-care, you’re empowering yourself to be the best version of yourself as a Black woman leader.


I’m an ICF Professional Certified Coach (PCC) and career coach for Twanna Carter Professional & Personal Coaching, LLC. I failed my first career transition from the military so badly, it took me the next 10+ years to build my confidence and recover. I know what it feels like to struggle with imposter syndrome and uncertainty about my worth in the workplace. It’s why I am dedicated to empowering Black women. Helping them navigate change and uncertainty by providing them with the tools and strategies they need to be successful. Schedule a free 30-Minute Career Solution Call today.
Curated Reads: Essential Books to Add to Your Personal Library
- Melaninated Magic: 180 Affirmations to Nurture Your Soul and Unleash Your Black Girl Joy by Twanna Carter, PhD
- Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity by Saundra Dalton-Smith, MD
- I’m Not Yelling: A Black Woman’s Guide to Navigating the Workplace (Successful Black Business Women), Elizabeth Leiba.
- Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler.
- Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini.
- How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
- Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg.
- Dare to Lead by Brene Brown.
- The Memo, by Minda Harts.
- Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones, by James Clear
- Worthy: How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life, by Jamie Kern Lima
- 33 Tools to Remake Your Career by Paul Gabriel Dionne
Read my latest blogs…
- Executive Coaching for Black Women. Empowering Unstoppable SuccessWhy Executive Coaching Matters for Black Women In today’s fast-paced corporate world, executive coaching for Black women is more than a leadership development tool. It’s a catalyst for transformation. Despite being the most educated groups in the U.S., Black women… Read more: Executive Coaching for Black Women. Empowering Unstoppable Success
- Build a Powerful Network They Say. But No One Tells You How! To build a powerful network is one of the most influential tools for professional and personal success, yet most people approach it incorrectly. You’ve probably heard people say, “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.” But here’s the truth:… Read more: Build a Powerful Network They Say. But No One Tells You How!
- 12 Tips to Successfully Changing CareersChanging careers is no longer the rare, risky leap it once was. It’s becoming a normal part of professional life. Whether you’re searching for more purpose, better pay, or a healthier work-life balance, knowing how to change careers successfully can make… Read more: 12 Tips to Successfully Changing Careers
- Powerful Network Secrets: Build Influence FastSecrets Revealed How to Build a Powerful Network A powerful network is one of the most useful tools for professional and personal success, yet most people approach building it incorrectly. You’ve probably heard people say, “It’s not what you know, it’s… Read more: Powerful Network Secrets: Build Influence Fast
- The ‘Soft Life’ Schedule: How I Rebuilt My Week Around Rest, Results, and RelationshipsOnce upon a grind, I believed that success was measured in sleepless nights, endless hustle, and a calendar packed so tight it squeaked. My norm was 3-5 hours of sleep a night. I’d drink Mountain Dew and eat Snicker bars… Read more: The ‘Soft Life’ Schedule: How I Rebuilt My Week Around Rest, Results, and Relationships
- Why Imposter Syndrome Hits Hardest at the Top. Especially for Black Women ExecsImposter Syndrome Hits Hard Ever walked into a C-suite meeting and felt like you were wearing someone else’s shoes. Waiting for someone to call you out, even though you’ve earned your seat at the table? If you’re a Black woman executive,… Read more: Why Imposter Syndrome Hits Hardest at the Top. Especially for Black Women Execs
- Why Executive Coaching Works for Black Women ExecutivesHow the Thrive Beyond Survival V.I.P. Framework™ Creates the Shift from Stuck to Thriving “You’ve checked every box. Degrees. Promotions. Leadership roles. Yet… you still feel stuck, silenced, and stretched too thin.” If that hits close to home, you’re not alone.For… Read more: Why Executive Coaching Works for Black Women Executives
- 3 Mistakes Executives Make During a Career PivotLet’s Get Real: Why This Matters Making a career pivot as an executive isn’t just about updating your job title or adding a shiny new certification to LinkedIn. It’s about rewriting your narrative from the inside out. Whether you’re stepping out… Read more: 3 Mistakes Executives Make During a Career Pivot
- 7 Signs You’re Still Leading From Survival ModeIf you’re a high-achieving Black woman executive, you’ve probably mastered the art of the juggle, leading teams, making tough calls, and holding it down for your family. But let’s be honest: sometimes, even with those wins, you feel like you’re… Read more: 7 Signs You’re Still Leading From Survival Mode
- What If Your Career Wasn’t Meant to Be This Hard?7 Thought-Shifting Prompts to Help You Discover the Work You’re Meant For You know that quiet ache that shows up on Sunday nights? The way your stomach tightens when you think about Monday morning… again? You’ve done everything right in your… Read more: What If Your Career Wasn’t Meant to Be This Hard?
- Why Boundaries Are the Richest Thing You Can Build This YearWealth Isn’t Just About Your Bank Account When you hear the word “rich,” what pops into your mind? Diamond necklaces? Stock portfolios? That one aunt’s mysterious vacation house? We’re conditioned to equate wealth with dollars and digits. But what if I… Read more: Why Boundaries Are the Richest Thing You Can Build This Year
- Are You Really Being Too Much, Or Just Being Seen?Have you ever felt the need to shrink yourself at work or in social spaces, just to avoid being labeled as “being too much”? Maybe you’ve been told you’re too outspoken, too confident, too ambitious, or simply too visible. For many… Read more: Are You Really Being Too Much, Or Just Being Seen?
+ show Comments
- Hide Comments
add a comment