Have you ever felt the need to shrink yourself at work or in social spaces, just to avoid being labeled as “being too much”? Maybe you’ve been told you’re too outspoken, too confident, too ambitious, or simply too visible. For many Black women and other marginalized professionals, this fear of visibility is more than a passing worry. It’s a daily reality that shapes the way we show up in our careers and our lives. If you’ve ever questioned if your presence is overwhelming, or if your confidence makes others uncomfortable, keep reading. You’re not being too much. You’re just being seen.

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Why “Being Too Much” Isn’t the Problem. Fear of Visibility Is

Fear of visibility is the anxiety or discomfort we feel when we think others are paying attention to us, especially in spaces where we’ve historically been overlooked, underestimated, or even penalized for standing out. For Black women executives and leaders, this fear often stems from years of navigating microaggressions, stereotypes, and the unspoken rules of “not making waves.”

Visibility isn’t just about being in the spotlight. It’s about being recognized for who you are, what you contribute, and what you believe. But when being visible comes with a cost, like being misunderstood, criticized, or isolated, it’s easy to start questioning whether you should play small to stay safe.

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How Does the Fear of Visibility Show Up?

Fear of visibility can manifest in subtle and not-so-subtle ways, especially for high-achieving women of color in leadership:

• Downplaying achievements: You minimize your wins or avoid sharing successes so you don’t seem arrogant.
• Shrinking in meetings: You hesitate to speak up, even when you have valuable insights, for fear of being seen as aggressive or domineering.
• Second-guessing leadership style: You constantly question if your assertiveness is “too much” or if your confidence makes colleagues uncomfortable.
• Avoiding opportunities: You turn down speaking engagements, promotions, or high-profile projects to avoid being in the spotlight.
• People-pleasing: You overcompensate by being agreeable, even when you disagree, just to avoid standing out.

If any of these sound familiar, you’re not alone. The pressure to be “just enough,” not being too much, not too little, can be exhausting and confusing.

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The Real Meaning Behind Being Too Much

Let’s reframe this narrative: The discomfort you feel isn’t a sign that you’re being too much. It’s a sign that you’re finally being seen. Your ideas, your leadership, your presence, they challenge the status quo in spaces not designed for your full expression. That’s not a flaw; it’s a powerful act of reclaiming space.

Visibility isn’t about ego or seeking attention. It’s about refusing to be invisible. It’s about owning your expertise, your story, and your impact. When you step into your power and allow yourself to be seen, you create new possibilities. Not just for yourself, but for everyone who’s watching.

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Reclaiming Your Presence. 8 Ways to Embrace Being Seen

Embracing visibility isn’t about becoming someone you’re not. It’s about reclaiming your presence and leading authentically. Here are eight practical ways to do just that:

1. Acknowledge Your Fear. But Don’t Let It Lead

It’s normal to feel nervous about being visible, especially if you’re used to being in the background. Instead of suppressing that fear, acknowledge it. Name it. Then ask yourself: What’s the cost of staying invisible? What’s possible if I allow myself to be seen?

2. Celebrate Your Achievements. Out Loud

You’ve worked hard for your successes. Don’t minimize them. Practice sharing your wins, whether that’s updating your LinkedIn profile, speaking up in meetings, or accepting compliments without deflection. Your achievements are not accidental, they’re earned.

3. Redefine Assertiveness as Leadership

Assertiveness is not aggression. Speaking up, advocating for yourself, and making decisions are marks of effective leadership. Reframe assertiveness as a strength rather than a liability. When you lead with clarity and conviction, you inspire others to do the same.

4. Set Boundaries. And Hold Them Firmly

Visibility often invites scrutiny and unsolicited opinions. Set clear boundaries around your time, energy, and values. Practice saying no to requests or feedback that don’t serve your growth. Boundaries are not barriers, they’re bridges to healthier, more productive engagements.

5. Surround Yourself with Visibility Champions

Seek out mentors, sponsors, and peers who celebrate your growth and visibility. Build a support network that reminds you of your worth and encourages you to take up space. Community is a powerful antidote to isolation and self-doubt.

6. Practice Self-Advocacy

Don’t wait for others to recognize your value, advocate for yourself. Whether it’s negotiating your salary, pitching a new idea, or requesting feedback, speak up for what you need and deserve. Self-advocacy is like a muscle; the more you use it, the stronger it becomes.

7. Embrace Feedback. But Don’t Internalize Criticism

Feedback can be a tool for growth, but not all criticism is constructive. Learn to separate helpful feedback from projections or biases. Trust your instincts and seek input from those who have your best interests at heart.

8. Honor Your Authentic Self

Your voice, your style, your perspective, they’re uniquely yours. Don’t dilute your identity to fit someone else’s comfort zone. Authenticity is magnetic. The more you show up as yourself, the more you attract opportunities and relationships aligned with your values.

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The Cost of Shrinking. Why Playing Small Doesn’t Protect You

Many of us have been taught that shrinking ourselves is a survival strategy. But playing small doesn’t guarantee safety, it only reinforces invisibility. When you hide your brilliance, you deprive yourself (and others) of your fullest potential.

Here’s what shrinking costs you:

• Missed opportunities: Promotions, projects, and partnerships often go to those who are visible and vocal.
• Reduced influence: Your insights and leadership don’t have the impact they could if you’re not present in key conversations.
• Increased burnout: Constantly monitoring and suppressing yourself is mentally and emotionally exhausting.
• Perpetuating stereotypes: When you shrink, it reinforces the narrative that Black women must be “manageable” or “palatable” to succeed.

Choosing visibility is an act of self-care and resistance. It’s how you break the cycle for yourself and for those who come after you.

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Reclaiming Presence: A New Leadership Paradigm

True leadership isn’t about fitting into someone else’s mold, it’s about expanding the definition of what leadership looks like. When Black women and other marginalized leaders reclaim their presence, they change the narrative in boardrooms, classrooms, and beyond.

Reclaiming presence means:

• Owning your story: Your path, including your challenges and triumphs, is your unique advantage.
• Defining your brand: Be intentional about how you want to be known. Let your values, expertise, and impact speak for you.
• Building legacy: Every time you choose visibility, you open doors for others to do the same.

Practical Steps to Get Comfortable with Visibility

If you’re ready to step into greater visibility, start with small, intentional actions:

• Update your LinkedIn profile to reflect your recent achievements.
• Volunteer for a panel or speaking engagement, even if it feels intimidating.
• Share your perspective in meetings, even if your view is different from the majority.
• Schedule regular check-ins with mentors or sponsors who support your growth.
• Reflect weekly on one way you allowed yourself to be seen. And celebrate it.

Visibility is a journey, not a destination. Give yourself permission to move at your own pace, and remember: every step you take matters.

You Deserve to Be Seen

You are not too loud, too ambitious, being too much. You are simply being seen in a world that hasn’t always made space for your light. Reclaiming your presence is not just an act of courage; it’s an act of leadership and self-love. Every time you refuse to shrink, you affirm your right to exist, lead, and thrive exactly as you are.

So the next time someone suggests you’re “being too much,” remind yourself: You’re not being too much. You’re just being seen. And that’s exactly where you belong.

Ready to embrace your visibility and step into your next level of leadership? Start today. Celebrate your wins, own your expertise, and let your presence speak volumes. The world needs your voice, don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

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Why Embracing “Being Too Much” Leads to More Confidence, Clarity, and Career Growth

Here’s the truth: the very qualities people criticize when they say you’re “being too much” are often the same traits that drive success. Your boldness? That’s vision. Your confidence? That’s leadership. Your passion? That’s purpose in motion.

When you stop apologizing for being too much, you gain:

✅ Career clarity – You stop second-guessing yourself and start making empowered decisions that align with your values.
✅ Unshakable confidence – You show up in rooms as your full self, with no need to shrink or prove.
✅ Respect and recognition – Instead of being overlooked, you get noticed for the powerful leader you are.
✅ Emotional freedom – No more carrying the burden of perfectionism or people-pleasing.
✅ Better boundaries – You protect your peace and time without guilt.

What if being too much was the very thing that opens doors to the life and career you’ve always wanted?

It’s time to stop dimming and start leading. 🔥

I’m a certified executive coach and an ICF Professional Certified Coach (PCC) for Twanna Carter Professional & Personal Coaching, LLC. I flubbed my first career transition from the military so badly, it took me the next 10+ years to build my confidence and  recover. I know what it feels like to struggle with imposter syndrome and uncertainty about my leadership skills in the workplace. It’s why I am dedicated to empowering Black women. Helping them navigate career challenges and uncertainty by providing them with the tools and strategies they need to be successful. Schedule a V.I.P. Roadmap session today.

If you enjoyed this blog, please share it. If you’re also feeling generous, consider Buying Me a Coffee.☕️

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The Executive Presence Blueprint Minicourse

Ready to Show Up Like a Leader?

If you’ve ever felt overlooked at work, despite all your talent, drive, and results, it’s not your skills that are the problem. It’s visibility. It’s presence.

That’s exactly why I created The Executive Presence Blueprint. A mini-course designed to help high-achieving women like you master the confidence, communication, and presence it takes to lead and get noticed.

In just 3 steps, you’ll learn how to:

• Project authentic confidence in every room you walk into
• Speak with clarity and authority
• Build a personal brand that gets you seen and promoted

No more playing small. No more second-guessing.

Ready to lead with confidence and be seen as the powerhouse you are? Enroll now and get instant access.

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