July 28, 2025
Once upon a grind, I believed that success was measured in sleepless nights, endless hustle, and a calendar packed so tight it squeaked. My norm was 3-5 hours of sleep a night. I’d drink Mountain and Snicker bars to stay up to the wee hours of the morning. The rinse and repeat to stay up during the day.
But let’s be honest, there’s only so long you can run on fumes before something gives. For me it was waking up on interstate 20/59 S about 10 minutes into a work trip, traveling about 55 mph, as my car was headed towards the concrete wall. Only by the grace of God am I here today!🙏🏾
Enter: the soft life. If you’re picturing a plush robe and endless brunches, you’re not entirely wrong, but there’s a deeper magic here. The soft life isn’t about laziness or checking out. It’s an intentional rebellion against burnout, a conscious choice to rebuild your week around rest, results, and the relationships that matter most.
So, how do you pivot from the “rise and grind” hamster wheel to a schedule that actually fills your cup? Grab your favorite tea, get comfy, and let’s dive into the nuts and bolts of the soft life schedule. Where fulfillment meets clarity and the “good life” is anything but accidental.
What Is the Soft Life, Really?
Let’s clear the air: the soft life isn’t just an Instagram trend or a code word for doing nothing. At its core, it’s a lifestyle that values:
- Rest over exhaustion
- Ease over struggle
- Joy over martyrdom
- Intentionality over autopilot
It’s about creating a life that feels as good as it looks. A life where you’re not just surviving, but thriving. And get this…you don’t have to choose between ambition and ease. In fact, when you schedule for the soft life, you amplify both.
Why Most Schedules Don’t Serve Us
Raise your hand if your calendar is a graveyard of back-to-back meetings, to-dos, and shoulds. 🙋🏾♀️ Traditional productivity advice pushes us to cram more into each day, but at what cost? Here’s what usually happens:
- Burnout sneaks in, and stays for a long visit.
- Relationships suffer because there’s “no time.”
- Rest is seen as weakness. So you keep pushing, even when you’re running on empty.
- Clarity gets lost in the noise…you’re busy all the time, but not fulfilled.
Sound familiar? You’re not on that hamster wheel alone. The problem isn’t with working hard; it’s the absence of intentional balance. The soft life schedule flips the script, making room for what actually matters.
Building Your Soft Life Schedule – The 3R Framework
Let’s break it down…how do you architect a week that embodies the soft life? Think of it as the “3R” approach: Rest, Results, and Relationships.
1. Rest. The Non-Negotiable Foundation
You heard it before, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Rest isn’t the reward for productivity; it’s the fuel.
How I Built Rest Into My Week:
- Scheduled Downtime: first I started by blocking off 30 minutes two days a week for “nothing.” No work, no calls, no social media. Just time to exist. Over time, I increased that to 60 minutes, and eventually to a couple of hours.
- 10 to 15-Minute Daily Pause: Every afternoon, I step away from the screen. Sometimes it’s a walk, other days it’s a nap, or reading for pure pleasure.
- Sleep as Strategy: I treat my bedtime like a meeting with my future self, non-negotiable. Because I was diagnosed with sleep apnea, I made sure to use my CPAP consistently.
Why It Matters:
Rest isn’t a luxury. It’s essential for our mental, emotional, physical and mental health. When you rest, your creativity soars, your patience grows, and your body thanks you. (Plus, you get way more done in less time, seriously.)
2. Results. Work That Moves the Needle
The soft life doesn’t mean you stop caring about your goals (or intentions); it means you focus on what actually matters.
How I Prioritized Results:
- Weekly “Big Three”: On Sundays, I identify the three priorities that’ll make the biggest impact. Everything else is negotiable.
- Batch Tasking: Instead of spreading myself thin, I cluster similar tasks together. Mondays, Tuesday = deep work. Wednesdays, Thursdays = meetings. Fridays = off.
- Boundaries Around Work: I set a clear end time for my workday. When it’s done, it’s done.
- Celebrate Small Wins: Daily, I jot down what went well, even if it’s just “I woke up this morning.”
Why It Works:
Focusing on fewer, high-impact tasks means you’re not busy just for the sake of it. Results become measurable, meaningful, and…surprise…more enjoyable.
3. Relationships. Nurturing the Ties That Sustain Us
No one thrives in isolation. The soft life is about weaving genuine connection into your days.
How I Made Space for Relationships:
- Intentional Check-Ins: I schedule standing catch-ups with my best friends and family. Yes, they’re on my calendar.
- Work-Adjacent Socializing: Virtual coffees with colleagues, or post-project debriefs where we talk life, not KPIs.
The Magic
Connection is a multiplier. When you nurture your relationships, your support system strengthens, your joy increases, and your sense of belonging deepens.
Sample Breakdown of a Weekly Soft Life Schedule
Let’s put theory into practice. Here’s how a typical week might look, tailor as you wish!
| Day | Morning | Afternoon | Evening |
| Monday | Deep work focus | 60-min rest break | Downtime (no work) |
| Tuesday | Meetings | 1:1 check-ins | Creative project time |
| Wednesday | Admin batching | Walk or stretch | Tech-free dinner |
| Thursday | Learning hour | Results review | Social call |
| Friday | Wrap-up & wins | Community care | Movie night |
| Saturday | Rest/sleep in | Family or friend time | Reading/journaling |
| Sunday | Weekly planning | Nature or hobby | Early bedtime |
Notice the intentional spacing, how rest isn’t crammed in as an afterthought. It’s the framework.
Soft Life Hacks. Tiny Tweaks, Big Shifts
- Automate the Mundane: Use tools to schedule, remind, and declutter decision fatigue.
- Say “No” Early and Often: Guard your time like it’s gold, because it is.
- Habit Stack: Pair rest with routines. For example, meditate after brushing teeth.
- Digital Detox Windows: Even 20 minutes sans screens can reset your mood.
- Gratitude Rituals: Start meetings or days listing wins or joys, shifts the whole vibe.
FAQs About Designing a Soft Life Schedule
Q: Will embracing the soft life make me less successful?
A: Quite the opposite. Rest and clarity fuel better decisions, creativity, and resilience. You’ll get more meaningful things done, not less.
Q: How do I handle guilt about “doing less?”
A: Guilt is a byproduct of hustle culture, not truth. Remember, rest is productive. Challenge the script. Your worth isn’t in your busyness.
Q: Can I have a soft life with a demanding job or family?
A: Absolutely. The soft life is about how you move through your days, not what fills them. Small shifts, like micro mindful breaks. Or asking for help counts.
Q: What if people judge my boundaries?
A: Let them. Boundaries aren’t walls, they’re bridges to a healthier, happier you. Those who benefit from your over-giving may object. I tell all my clients, when you start setting boundaries someone is going to get upset with you. But, stay the course.
Q: Is the soft life just for women?
A: No way! While it’s a movement often championed by women (especially Black women seeking reprieve from “strong Black woman” tropes), everyone deserves a life of rest and fulfillment.
If you’ve been waiting for permission to step off the treadmill and into a life that feels lighter, here it is…you’re allowed. The soft life isn’t a fantasy. It’s a choice. One that starts with your schedule, your values, and your willingness to believe that ease and achievement aren’t at odds.
So go ahead. Rebuild your week around rest, results, and relationships. Watch what happens when you stop glorifying exhaustion and start honoring your own well-being. The soft life is calling. Will you answer?
Ready to swap hustle for harmony? Start by blocking off one hour this week for unapologetic rest. Your future self will thank you. Need a quick, easy boost? Check out the The Calm Zone Toolkit.
The Calm Zone Toolkit. Stress & Anxiety Management.
When life gets loud, The Calm Zone Toolkit brings you back to center. This all-in-one toolkit offers stress-reducing meditations, relaxation techniques, and lifestyle shifts to help you create calm on demand. And finally feel like yourself again.
I’m a certified executive coach and an ICF Professional Certified Coach (PCC) for Twanna Carter Professional & Personal Coaching, LLC. I flubbed my first career transition from the military so badly, it took me the next 10+ years to build my confidence and recover. I know what it feels like to struggle with imposter syndrome and uncertainty about my leadership skills in the workplace. It’s why I am dedicated to empowering Black women. Helping them navigate career challenges and uncertainty by providing them with the tools and strategies they need to be successful. Schedule a V.I.P. Roadmap session today.
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